Ask for help when you need it

I am impressed by the article ideas suggested by my readers in response to this post. I appreciate the readers who responded, and I now have a lot of interesting ideas to think about. In the next few days I'll be writing posts that discuss the topics and questions you proposed, so watch for those. (And feel free to add more ideas here!)

And now I must point out the obvious (but hard to put into practice) lesson from this: Asking for help is a good thing. We're cultured to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness or shows that we can't do something on our own. Well, guess what? Sometimes we can't do it on our own. And often when you seek the help of others, something dynamic and wonderful is created that couldn't come about otherwise.

I'm a firm believer in the adage 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.' If we ask for help when we need it, I think it ushers in an atmosphere of openness and facilitates learning. We can all learn from each other! And sometimes it's as simple as asking for help.

The 60/40 Principle

A friend of mine once heard a speaker share the following formula:

When you tell a joke about somebody, it's 40% joke, and 60% true.

What he meant was, if you dissect a joke, 60% of it is what you truly think.

My friend passed this formula on to me and several friends, and we had a good laugh about it. Any time one of us made a joke about someone, someone else would invoke the principle by yelling, "Sixty forty!" and we would laugh at it all over again.

But honestly, I think this formula has some merit. I don't know that the ratio is 60/40, but when you really think about it, don't most jokes contain some truth? That's usually what makes them funny, because we recognize the truth in them. This isn't usually a problem unless we are joking about our friends, spouse, coworkers, children, etc. In that case, 60/40 isn't such a good thing. The 60/40 phenomenon may be a bit cheesy, but it's also real - you can end up hurting someone you love without really meaning to.

So the next time you want to make a joke about someone, think about 60/40. If part of the joke were true, would it hurt the person you're joking about? The joke may be funny, but it probably isn't worth hurting the feelings of someone you love.

Inexpensive Date Ideas

It's important to spend quality time with the one you love. But whether you're married or single, dating can get expensive if you aren't careful. However, with a little planning and searching, you can find many ways to have fun while spending little (if any) money. Here are a few ideas.

NATURE
Spending time in nature is relaxing and enjoyable, and mostly free. Try nature walks, fly kites at the park, spend time at a lake, find a hiking trail, biking together, have an outdoor picnic, have dinner in your backyard, go swimming together.

COLLEGE CAMPUS
There is always something inexpensive happening on a college campus. Check out free performances, lectures, art shows, readings, free musical events, films, inexpensive sporting events, and any number of other free events.

THE CITY
No matter where you live, there are interesting events happening in your community and in nearby communities. Check online city guides for upcoming events - musical, theatre, fairs, interesting shows (car shows, craft fairs, etc.). There are also flea markets, swap meets, and auctions which can be fun to attend. Check your local church for church socials and other events. The public library also has many free events - lectures, movies, classes, parties, etc.

LEARNING
Spend time together and learn something new in the process. Spend an evening at a bookstore reading together, go out and take photographs together, have an evening at home playing games (my husband and I like Trivial Pursuit), take an inexpensive class together (a cooking class, for example), develop a new hobby together (such as learning to make furniture or home improvement - not that either of those are cheap!)

ROMANTIC
This is your chance to show your partner how romantic you are. Put together a homemade candlelight dinner, read poetry together, trade massages, watch a romantic movie at home together, spend an evening together just talking and learning about each other (The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasionis fun if you need ideas.)